Year End 2018

**First written Dec. 31, 2018**

Y’all. About 3 years ago this verse came to me. I thought it was for something else.

Today it popped up again. I wondered if I had been wrong and maybe it was for our family and not the something else. The thing now is to have a focus word of the year. I started the year with a word “redemption”. But another word came to me a month later. And another month later another word to focus on. I mean God doesn’t limit our year to learning one word or phrase. This past year (2018) has been up and down. The truth is the first 3 months were mostly down. Way down. Anne of Green Gables might have said it was “the depths of despair”! Haha! Thankfully the Lord did not turn His back on us and we made it thru! Sometime around March things started looking up. 

When we moved back to Alabama a few years ago, let’s be honest, I wasn’t the most excited. So, let's look at what has happened:

It’s taken the majority of 3 years years, but the 5 of us have become more of a family than we have ever been. It is so nice to be US. I wish I could share with you all the ways our family has grown, but our kids need privacy. 

Becoming an “instant family” and adoption are....well....I feel like I should say something profound here, but really, I can’t. We are still in the middle and thick of our learning our life. If you go watch the movie Instant Family and you’ll get a glimpse of what I mean. When Brent and I went to see it, we were expecting to laugh, to relate, to see a good movie. What we did was re-live the last 7 years of our life on the big screen! It was a little traumatic, to say the least! HA!

God has done all kinds of new things in our life over the past few years. Our faith grew. Our family grew. We have visited new places, made new friends that became family, I even started a tiny business! Something I never thought I would have done. I’m slow at figuring it, but I am finally starting too. My tiny business may thrive or it may fail - either way it’s not who I am and doesn’t define me. And in the past that has been a struggle for me. Maybe it still is since I’m writing about it! Ha! For me, being a wife and mom is the most important. 

Brent began woodworking and loves it. He did a little woodwork before, but has never had the opportunity to build this way. He has discovered how much he loves hunting. He went to Uganda for the second time where he found a vision and a place to give to. 

Ben got his license and his first job (or 3!). He started boxing and loves it. He decided to be baptized this year,  2018.  

Breanna has grown up so much. She is loving volleyball and music. She is really good with little kids at church or anywhere. It's neat to watch her grow in this area. She loves going on youth trips. 

Elizabeth is such a little crafter and loves creating and drawing and using anything she can make what she creates. She loves to play. She decided to follow Jesus and be baptized in 2017. 

These are all part of the ways that God has been bringing us to streams of water in a desert. He's been making us new. God is always moving forward. 

Surprisingly to us, we ended this year (2018) with Brent not having a job. The most surprise of all is that neither of us are worried. That may seem irresponsible to some especially with kids, bills, and debt. But God has already prepared for this time. In fact, it was all His idea! As Christians, both Brent and I believe we are at a job whether it is in the church or not, even if we stay for 20 years, we are there until God says go. God is always reaching for people. All people matter. We didn’t make this decision without God first releasing Brent. We aren’t sure what is next and for the first time ever, that is exciting. 

It hasn’t all been roses. Remember the first 3 months? There were also times of confusion and wondering what happened to all the promises. Around September, I sort of lost all the words God gave me and felt like I was just treading water. He uses all the hard things to bring us to Him, to make us like Him, for us to want to depend on Him. Even in the hard things, He is faithful. 

Another verse was prominent this year. Exodus 14:14. He has fought for us and I have learned that sometimes fighting means protecting. Rarely does God work in ways that we think He should. But He always works for our best. He is always good. He is always bringing us closer to Him. He is the prize.

This year did end with the first focus word though. Redemption. I didn’t even mean for it too. 

When Christmas came and we were putting up the tree, my thoughts were “let go of perfect”. I always have grandiose ideas of how Christmas should be. I usually have plans to do all the Christmas things with the kids - see the lights, make cookies, decorate gingerbread houses, watch Christmas movies, etc. The only “Christmas thing” we did this year was watch movies. Our schedule was wompy and we may not have baked or iced cookies, but we sure ate them! 

Christmas isn’t about doing all the Christmas things. Each time there were little squabbles (or big ones) between the kids, me and Brent, or us and the kids, I tried to remind myself that this was why Jesus came. He came to redeem all of this. He didn’t come to find the perfection in us. He came to redeem it. Because of redemption, we can argue/disagree and find forgiveness and healing. We can have a bad day then find new mercies and grace waiting for us at the end while a new day begins. As long as we look to God and not ourselves, we will always find redemption. The moment we put God aside and go with our feelings, we get lost and life keeps going awry, our expectations get out of control and our focus is on ourselves. We need to let go of perfect, change our perspective, and stop our runaway thoughts. We have to focus on the truth. Truth stops the lie. When you change your thoughts, your feelings change. When your feelings change, your actions change. 

This Christmas I was okay with not doing all the Christmas things, for me it was about God redeeming every little thing. And that is always better than seeing lights, making cookies, and decorating gingerbread houses. 

Well. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted and this may be jumbled and not make any sense. I guess I’ll have to work on my writing in 2019. Ha! 

Peace out 2018.