Rest

There one was a time in our life where we entered into a place of rest. Sometimes God sends you to the desert and sometimes to lie down in green pastures. This time is was green pastures for me, which brought about this incredible freedom.

After almost 15 or so years, it was a physical rest from full-time church ministry.  We had no church. (click here to read more)

It was a financial rest in the midst of financial craziness. We had no jobs, but we debt, other bills, three kids, and a dog.  

I wasn't worried at all about how we were going to pay any bills, etc. God took care of us, but doesn't He always. However this time around - we were literally at His mercy. No jobs. Nothing on the horizon. No money coming in, but every month - like clockwork, we were just fine. It seemed like we were in a continual mode of gratitude. At the very end of the first 3 months after Brent left the pastorate, he was offered a job. It didn't pay anywhere close to a normal salary at all, but it was good and the perfect fit for Brent. 

I remember one time I went grocery shopping with my mom. I think this was around the end of May or the beginning of June. I had cash and added up groceries on the calculator as they went into the cart. When I reached the check-out line, I was really hoping and praying that I had not forgotten to add something or somehow miscalculated. As the cashier scanned the last item, I realized I had forgotten an ingredient. (it was only sour cream - but you really can't forget the sour cream!). We finished up and I ran back to grab the smallest tub of sour cream, hoping again that my grocery change would cover the cost.  There was just enough cash. A penny spit out into the change dish at the self-check out. I had never been so thankful for a penny in my whole life. That penny - not really anything special - was physical proof to me that God was seeing everything. Even a tub of sour cream. I think my heart sang all the way home. The story didn't end there. I was so thankful that I decided to give that penny back to the Lord in the offering on Sunday. I did get a few little butterflies when the offering plate was given to me - I didn't realize that someone might actually see me put it in, but in it went anyway.  Two or three weeks and more prayers later, I got a phone call and a part-time job landed in my lap that I didn't even know was available. I am still incredibly thankful for that same job I still have today. 

It was a rest from worries right when you would think it would be easiest to worry.  We had no idea of the future and we had kids to raise. We sold our house - with no idea where we were going when it sold. The house sold on the second showing. We agreed to the offer on our house on a Sunday evening the last week in August in the church parking lot. Five days later on Friday, we made a decision about our next direction in life. 

It was a rest for our souls. There was peace everywhere, like a fence around my mind keeping the worries out. We knew we were exactly where God wanted us to be. This was the right path.  

It was all quite unexpected. The rest. The peace. The freedom. This was not me. I do not rest well.          Side-story: Once, (years before this restful season) we went on a cruise with friends - it was awesome and awful at the same time. Why? Because apparently you are supposed to rest on cruises and do nothing. That's hard for me. I found it almost impossible to do nothing on that cruise. I always feel like I should be going. Ok. Back to the real story.

That summer, a few weeks before the penny came along, I started looking at Psalm 23. It's a psalm that seems only to be read during funerals, doesn't it? But it isn't just for death. It's about restoration/renewal. It's about trust and rest. It's about the great, very focused, intentional, deep care of our Good Shepherd. It is about life. 

I read a book by Phillip Keller. He went verse by verse on Psalm 23. Phillip was shepherd in Africa. The parallels I learned about sheep-herding and the animals themselves compared to us and the Christian life are astounding. You should read it. I promise you will love it. Here is the link to the book:" A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23."

You want the practical side? I kept praying. I kept acting on my beliefs. I spoke truth to the doubts tried to come up in my mind - sometimes out loud. At some point, I felt that I should apologize to others for some issues in the past - sometimes far in the past. I asked for forgiveness and gave forgiveness. I still have some people I need to talk to because it's not as easy to ask for it in person as it is to write it. I don't have it all figured out. Sometimes you just have to start talking and hope the words come out right; and then start over when they don't. 

All of this forgiveness, reliance on the Lord, and rest brought about the freedom. You find freedom in the truth. You find freedom in forgiveness. You find freedom in rest. You find freedom for the sake of freedom! 

I think that after a time of rest, comes a time of work. Our time of rest was also a time of preparation and the start of changes in our life direction. It was the beginning of moving us to Africa. 

It has taken me awhile to figure out how to write this post. I am sure this seems vague and blog experts frown upon vagueness, so if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. 

Picture by Elizabeth when we were taking photos of a field next to Nana's house a few weeks ago.