Panic

Do you ever just panic about your life? You think if you don’t do something or change something instantly, then you’re going to be left behind in life and everyone else will take your spot? 

The outside of your life may look like you have it together, but your inner life is chaos and coated with the fear that you’re not doing enough, you’re not being enough, you’re failing. You start to panic that if you don’t start being enough and changing the way your run your life right. this. second, then everything you want, hope for, and have worked for will be lost. Life will have left you behind and moved on to the next contestant.

Gosh, it’s terrifying. This panic hits out of nowhere. You can feel it in your insides, coming up from the deep passions of your soul. 

(I say  passions because I don’t think we would feel this way if we weren’t passionate about these people, places, causes, ideas, jobs, etc. in our life.)

What do you do? 

I can only tell you about me. The past few years, I have started noticing this feeling in my life. I figured out that feeling not enough, being afraid of being left behind in the dust of life can cause me to run ahead of God. 

So what do I do? I stop. I wait. I whisper prayers under my breath. I listen. I watch. I put the decision on hold. I keep doing what I have been doing and be still. 

I calm my heart with truth. I remind my soul that He is El Roi, the God who sees (me). He hasn’t left me behind or forgotten me. He is the One who brought/allowed/created these passions - people, places, causes, ideas, jobs, etc. in my life in the first place. He holds my life. He has put me in the time and places that He deemed right from the beginning of the earth - even if I think I’ve messed up too much and ruined His plan.  I remind myself that the glory isn’t mine, it’s His. All of this is for His fame, His Name. 

He is the One who began the good work and will complete it. These truths put my priorities and heart in the right order. I don’t feel rushed to make sure my life is perfect. 

Knowing I can steward my life in His grace, extinguishes the panic of having to do everything perfectly. And a word comes to mind of a practice in which I need to live and love daily and maybe you do too - it’s called surrender.