Family
I'd really like a family picture of us. Why? Everyone else is doing it. HA! I see all these beautiful pictures on facebook or blogs of families and I think that we need one or two pictures of us. So maybe one day.
My brain isn't so foggy these days - this is a good thing. My house is a mess because we took the bunks down in the girl's room and I decided to rearrange, but I only get to work on it about 5 minutes a day. I haven't done laundry in 3 or 4 days and I'm okay with it. This is new for me. But I can tell I better get it done. :)
Ben is not doing well in school AT ALL.
Bre is so mixed up and told us that her birth mom brought the stroller we have to her upstairs in our old house. (Birth mom may have brought her a stroller one day, but it didn't happen in America, but Bre thinks it did.)
Elizabeth is perking along just charmingly. But she's 2 and at 2 her worst nightmare is having to take a nap. Screaming all the way to bed as she did today. Seriously though, I think she's attached. I would go with 95%. I think. I suspect her time will come for troubles.
Family. Not what I expected. "They" told us to through out all ideas and views of family when we adopted. I didn't know what view and ideas of a family that I had until we had the kids, so I guess I didn't throw them out quick enough. I think that television is to blame. And no, it's not today's TV of The Secret Life of the American Teenager or Pretty Little Liars. It's the old TV of Father Knows Best and My Three Sons. TV like that predicted that life should perfect and families should hum along to a tune. Life where everything is fine and dandy (or swell). Well my family is more like Pretty Little Liars. I never know which one to believe. Most of the time I don't believe either of them. :(
Sad to say. They know it. So I guess I can write it.
My expectations have to change, but they don't change fast enough. So I think our kids should perfect. Why? I am a perfectionist. This is considered a negative in my life. It doesn't work to have a family and be perfectionist - why? The kids keep messing things up!! haha!!
This year we won't have a family Christmas card. I'm sure we offended someone because we did not do an Operation Christmas Child box, we started the Advent box late, our kids don't have stockings, and I'm fairly certain that I won't make it to school with food for the Christmas party. That's our family this year. A mess. I'm trying to adjust to the mess.
My view of family means sometimes just surviving. It means hoping the "love feelings" will come in someday for the kids and from the kids. It means having a messy house. It means purposefully remembering that these kids haven't had a real family before. This is all new to them too. I should allow them grace. It means trying not hold to "traditional" Christmas ideals - like making Christmas cookies from scratch - but trying them out all the same. (i'm sure I'll have a cookie post when it happens!!)
It means trying to find hope that one day - maybe next year - we will all be more attached to each other.
I don't know know what your view of family is, but as I discussed with a friend tonight, every family is a mess somehow some way....we are all a mess. Enjoy your messy family and may you have peace.
My brain isn't so foggy these days - this is a good thing. My house is a mess because we took the bunks down in the girl's room and I decided to rearrange, but I only get to work on it about 5 minutes a day. I haven't done laundry in 3 or 4 days and I'm okay with it. This is new for me. But I can tell I better get it done. :)
Ben is not doing well in school AT ALL.
Bre is so mixed up and told us that her birth mom brought the stroller we have to her upstairs in our old house. (Birth mom may have brought her a stroller one day, but it didn't happen in America, but Bre thinks it did.)
Elizabeth is perking along just charmingly. But she's 2 and at 2 her worst nightmare is having to take a nap. Screaming all the way to bed as she did today. Seriously though, I think she's attached. I would go with 95%. I think. I suspect her time will come for troubles.
Family. Not what I expected. "They" told us to through out all ideas and views of family when we adopted. I didn't know what view and ideas of a family that I had until we had the kids, so I guess I didn't throw them out quick enough. I think that television is to blame. And no, it's not today's TV of The Secret Life of the American Teenager or Pretty Little Liars. It's the old TV of Father Knows Best and My Three Sons. TV like that predicted that life should perfect and families should hum along to a tune. Life where everything is fine and dandy (or swell). Well my family is more like Pretty Little Liars. I never know which one to believe. Most of the time I don't believe either of them. :(
Sad to say. They know it. So I guess I can write it.
My expectations have to change, but they don't change fast enough. So I think our kids should perfect. Why? I am a perfectionist. This is considered a negative in my life. It doesn't work to have a family and be perfectionist - why? The kids keep messing things up!! haha!!
This year we won't have a family Christmas card. I'm sure we offended someone because we did not do an Operation Christmas Child box, we started the Advent box late, our kids don't have stockings, and I'm fairly certain that I won't make it to school with food for the Christmas party. That's our family this year. A mess. I'm trying to adjust to the mess.
My view of family means sometimes just surviving. It means hoping the "love feelings" will come in someday for the kids and from the kids. It means having a messy house. It means purposefully remembering that these kids haven't had a real family before. This is all new to them too. I should allow them grace. It means trying not hold to "traditional" Christmas ideals - like making Christmas cookies from scratch - but trying them out all the same. (i'm sure I'll have a cookie post when it happens!!)
It means trying to find hope that one day - maybe next year - we will all be more attached to each other.
I don't know know what your view of family is, but as I discussed with a friend tonight, every family is a mess somehow some way....we are all a mess. Enjoy your messy family and may you have peace.
Comments
As far as you doing OK, you are and you need to know that you are doing fine, and that you will be fine. And yes, you will be loved and will love as time goes by if you allow your children to love you as they can. They are selfish little beings ( as we all are) that is our sin nature, but that doesn't mean they don't love you for caring for them and for bringing them to a better life.
Keep up the good work and know you are loved by a perfect God and He is looking down on you all and smiling.
Have a blessed Christmas, and love every memory. Even the bad ones, you will look back on them and laugh one day. I know I do. :-)
God bless you all,
Janet
I will continue to remember your beautiful family in my prayers as you work together to find love and attachment.
Oh yeah...store bought goodies for school parties are just fine. Little Debbie cakes are very pretty and delicious!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God Bless!
Vicky
But we DID get pictures - thanks to my mom who is an amateur photographer!
Praying for you...always.