3 month check-up

September 8. We arrived home 3 months ago today. I cried when I opened the door to our house that day. I remember I walked in and looked at the rooms we set up for the kids. We were so excited when we were getting ready, only now it was real and we arrived home completely exhausted and wondering what we got ourselves into. I was crying because I thought all the rooms we worked so hard on and were so proud of, were about to be destroyed. I knew that as soon as the kids got into the house toys would start flying. I was only half right - the bicycles won out over the toys that day and Brent's mom and dad arrived with some luggage. I was so thankful to see them. I remember wishing they had stayed longer that day.

We've only been a family for 3 months. Brent has to remind me of that little fact every now and then.
 I am always amazed. It seems so much longer.

Attachment - that is yet to be determined. Bre told my mom the other day that she didn't need a mom or a dad or a family. From her point of view she's right. After all she pretty much took care of herself and her sister for 5 years, she doesn't need anybody. At least that's what she thinks, we know the secret: that children do not know their own needs. Bre is very strong-willed and stubborn - what am I saying! All 3 kids are strong-willed and stubborn!! She desperately needs to control something in her life. I think she would go home with anybody who asked her. I think that she is a 3-year-old mind in a 6-year-old body. So we have a long way to go.

Elizabeth does not receive affection unless it comes on her terms and sometimes we have to ask her for a kiss or a hug. She does enjoy being flipped around by her dad and held when she is crying. When it is naptime or night-time, she alternates between wanting to be held or just patted and laying down on the bed. She has some anger issues, I think. But thankfully, her tantrums are no where near what they were in Peru!

Ben, well I can't read him. Sometimes I think he is just here, tolerating the whole family thing, waiting till he can be on his own - according the United States laws. He ran his own show for 10 years. It can cause extreme frustration when your show is taken over by 2 strangers, expecially when the strangers have no experience! We know he misses speaking Spanish. He is having to learn to interact with his sisters. He enjoys school and church. I think it's because there are so many kids and other people. We know the stress level is too high when he falls asleep in the car during the day. We used to think he had car-sickness, but now we have decided he sleeps when he can't handle what's going on. Coping.

We are headed to the International Adoption Clinic soon. I really hope it's everything we've heard. They are supposed to do 2 family therapy sessions, maybe that will help somehow.

The Bible study I am S-L-O-W-L-Y trying to work on has been good for my soul. It's taken about 2 weeks to do week 1! (confession: it's not because I am going over each day slow - I just don't get to it everyday) The study is not what I expected, but it's better. I started week 2 yesterday and this is the Bible prayer praise for the day: "Praise be the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." Psalm 68:19.

Something that make me smile: while watching The Busy World of Richard Scary this morning Elizabeth is rocking her baby in her little chair and I hear her singing "Jesus Loves Me" . She walked up to me holding the baby and said "Mommy, baby sleep" Then she went to go lay the baby down on the couch that is next to her pack-n-play. A minute later she brings the baby back in and gives the baby a kiss on the cheek and says "luvb you".