Nothing to say.....
I think it might be about time to rename this blog. I don't think that we are upside down anymore as we were when we started this whole adventure. I guess I'm getting used to the idea to being a mom. One that I thought I would like from the beginning, but after jumping head first into parenting, I decided it wasn't for me. To be really honest, I have been taking some medicine to help with the ordeal and I think it is finally working. A lady at church also helped me, although I don't think she knows it. She empathized with me (or is it sympathized?) anyway, her words were like freedom. Someone else actually admitted to me that all this is hard and told me that it was okay that it was hard. I'm sure other people have done the same thing, but for some reason, her words were very refreshing! So maybe everything will calm down after all.
It is very difficult to attach to 3 children all at once. Attachment comes in different phases and differently for each kid. Figuring out what discipline works for each child is really hard. Especially when their little personalities have already been somewhat formed by their past. We have taken to having them write Bible verses lately - a hand-me-down idea from Brent's mom that she used on Brent when he got older.
Lately, we have had a lot of people tell us that they want to adopt. To those people, I strongly suggest that you are completely sure of God's call in this area, especially if you adopt older children. It is different than birthing a child. In my ignorance, I think adopting a baby would be easier in some ways, but never having a child younger than 2, I don't know about those things, so I could be wrong. I think there is a book that says Parenting isn't for Cowards, well neither is adoption. I can say this because I have been a coward/faint of heart, so that makes it a lot harder. I'm not saying that figured it all out, because goodness knows I have to start over everyday, but I know that this is not the easy road. Honestly, sometimes I am jealous of parents who have birthed their children and have already developed trust and emotional attachment with their children and their children with them. The ones with kids don't have early childhood trauma in their lives. (I do consider divorce to be traumatic though). But Katie Davis says "these are children that God has chosen to bless me with." So I have to grow up and trust the God who created these kids that He planned for them to be in our family. But I struggle with that too. Alright! Enough with the deep secrets for the world to read!
By the way, I'm still reading Kisses from Katie. It is an amazing thing that God is doing through her willingness to be used by Him. But at one point in the book, she talks about how she was bitten and hit, etc by some of her girls at different points after their adoption. I think she and Brent could swap stories! She is very honest about her life. It is a good read.
I have gotten a bit bored with blogging. I think it is because I don't get to blog often anymore. I also don't think that we are super interesting to read about on a blog. So this blog may have a re-do in the future. June 8th will mark one year of entry into the United States. I have been thinking we will have to have a big blow-out party that we have survived a year! We still have a few months to go though!
It is very difficult to attach to 3 children all at once. Attachment comes in different phases and differently for each kid. Figuring out what discipline works for each child is really hard. Especially when their little personalities have already been somewhat formed by their past. We have taken to having them write Bible verses lately - a hand-me-down idea from Brent's mom that she used on Brent when he got older.
Lately, we have had a lot of people tell us that they want to adopt. To those people, I strongly suggest that you are completely sure of God's call in this area, especially if you adopt older children. It is different than birthing a child. In my ignorance, I think adopting a baby would be easier in some ways, but never having a child younger than 2, I don't know about those things, so I could be wrong. I think there is a book that says Parenting isn't for Cowards, well neither is adoption. I can say this because I have been a coward/faint of heart, so that makes it a lot harder. I'm not saying that figured it all out, because goodness knows I have to start over everyday, but I know that this is not the easy road. Honestly, sometimes I am jealous of parents who have birthed their children and have already developed trust and emotional attachment with their children and their children with them. The ones with kids don't have early childhood trauma in their lives. (I do consider divorce to be traumatic though). But Katie Davis says "these are children that God has chosen to bless me with." So I have to grow up and trust the God who created these kids that He planned for them to be in our family. But I struggle with that too. Alright! Enough with the deep secrets for the world to read!
By the way, I'm still reading Kisses from Katie. It is an amazing thing that God is doing through her willingness to be used by Him. But at one point in the book, she talks about how she was bitten and hit, etc by some of her girls at different points after their adoption. I think she and Brent could swap stories! She is very honest about her life. It is a good read.
I have gotten a bit bored with blogging. I think it is because I don't get to blog often anymore. I also don't think that we are super interesting to read about on a blog. So this blog may have a re-do in the future. June 8th will mark one year of entry into the United States. I have been thinking we will have to have a big blow-out party that we have survived a year! We still have a few months to go though!
Comments
Please don't be discouraged, I was hit, bitten and hated by my children and I gave birth to 3 of them. The other 2 came into my life later and they also hated me too, but in time we all are family and love each other for the most part.
Don't be discouraged, don't think you are not a good parent. You will grow to see that in the end, this was just what God had planned. Yes babies are bonding easier most of the time, but they are not easier, I promise. :-)
Love you all,
Janet
Hang in there. You are doing a good work!!