Fight for Joy

I feel like I write more about my complaints and struggles than anything. I hope I'm not "Debbie-Downer" or anything. I did see a blog definition once that said she wrote because " blogging is cheaper than therapy". I suppose that's true.

This week has been a fight for joy. I mean some days or maybe most days you really have to work at it. Sometimes joy has to be intentional. You have to want it and you have to work for it by controlling your mind, emotions, perspectives, etc. 

This week has been stressful on me for weird reasons. Today I really wanted to fight for joy, but after having Elizabeth scream, shout, and grunt at me for an hour over hair, clothes, and who knows what all else, I was ready to give up the fight and drop her off at school and head back for the covers. But Brent and I had an appointment at 10:30, so no luck with my plan. We had our meeting and then the lady said, "you know I've never really heard your adoption story." We get this open-ended sentence occasionally and it usually results in me and Brent explaining a short, yet in depth, explanation of details of our story and winds up leaving the hearer confused because we both tend to talk at once. So there are circles and rabbits going all over the place. I sort of feel sorry for people when we tell them the details. I mean, honestly, you just have to live it to understand it. 

Today though, we recounted the part about God providing the money. The part about how we had no debt from the adoption and actually had a surplus of funds in the adoption account. That's really my favorite part of the whole thing. I love to talk about it.  I almost teared up right there in her office! Something about recalling God's provision and faithfulness out loud does your soul good. Wonders, even. 

Then she asked about how soon after our adoption did we move and that led to another story, but amazingly enough, proved that my faith in a faithful God can waiver, even when He just proved Himself just 2 months prior. 

I am just like the Israelites in the Old Testament, being rescued one minutes and complaining and wondering in the desert the next.  Wondering of God will still prove Himself or will He give up. Of course that is my unbelief and lies Satan twists and stabs in the heart and mind.

My goal for this month is to read Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Lee DeMoss. It's the month of Thanksgiving. I thought it might be appropriate. I have also been taught that praise and gratitude are tools to defeat complaints and doubts. They renew your mind and soul.

So during hard times, you must fight for joy.

A few more tidbits:

Elizabeth has discovered fall. It is so delightful! I love hearing her exclaim over the yellow trees and saying it's so beautiful over and over again.

It's also National Adoption Month. Click here to see how you can help.